Dating guidelines for nerds
Tright herefore here’s my problem: we likes me personally some timid, nerdy dudes, nevertheless they will not start a discussion beside me. We have no issue using the effort (no fear, no tact, with no pity, actually), but if We attempt to speak with them We have a tendency to get fear signals right back: stuttering, twitching, averted eyes, etc.
I am perhaps maybe not ugly (in line with the good individuals into the present picture thread with good hygiene, gown feeling, and fundamental grooming practices. I am a bit peaceful for the reason that I do not invest on a regular basis giggling and speaking like the majority of girls my age (22), but i could definitely hold personal in a sensible discussion. I’ve no self-esteem dilemmas or daddy problems or “issues” of any sort, really (except with individuals whom utilize the non-word “anyways, ” but that is why I am a doper, right? ).
I am told that i am too intimidating (i will be dull) and that dudes will immediately assume that We’m taken because I’m perhaps not unsightly, but i am perhaps not flirting either (WTF? ).
I am getting sick and tired of holding the discussion for just two through to the nerdy man understands that I am perhaps perhaps maybe not likely to sprout a moment head and relaxes sufficient in my situation to make it to understand him.
Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression him know I’m not that scary, really that I can give or say to let?
*relationship advice. You may participate in the second-favorite passtime, that will be nitpicking my sentence structure and spelling, should you believe the need. None of the first-favorite material in right here, however. This really is a grouped household thread.: )
You hinted to the conclusion it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I am a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to tell you how–skittish–I is at very first. It can not be much better as compared to dudes you are dealing with.
What sort of signals would you distribute? Any kind of “you” language is incredibly effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better yet.
You hinted towards the finish it sounds like you’re doing fine that you do eventually get the nerdy guys to relax, so. It simply takes longer with some individuals. I’m a Nerdy Guy myself, and I also should get my spouse to tell you how–skittish–I is at very very very first. It can not be much better compared to dudes you’re referring to.
*sigh* i understand, but often we wish I could slip a Xanax in their hill dew, ya understand?
What type of signals do you really send? Any kind of “you” language is very effective. “Name” language–that is, mentioning the individual’s name–is better still.
That is advice that is good. I you will need to distribute “not stuck-up” (because often people confuse “quiet” for “snobby”), “friendly, ” and “not threatening. ” We smile (but I don’t giggle), I make attention contact, and I also do not interrupt them as they are attempting to get yourself a phrase out (this can be difficult).
Wait, you want the quiet(ish) nerd type? And also you’re at OSU? If We just possessed car…
Feh, whom’m We joking? We’d clam up too. Girls are frightening.
Can there be some shorthand, some alert or code expression that i will provide or state to allow him understand i am maybe not that scary, really? To start with, i simply took a glance at your photo, and my your ranking in the Attract-O-Meter is;
( perhaps perhaps Not my typical kind, but we’d have time that is hard my eyeball-tracking nevertheless. )
In terms of advice (and I am in your target demographic): The best thing you can do to make a geek feel comfortable is get him to talk about his favorite subject/intellectual infatuation/doctorial thesis as you may have already inferred. As soon as you get him started, in accordance with simply the barest of continuous prodding and display/simulacrum of great interest he will drop the entire shyness facade and tell you exactly about The Hitchhiker’s Guide towards the Galaxy/linguistic interrelations regarding the Romance languages/the life cycle of abdominal worms. Once he is run their program and it is convinced that you’re genuinely!, amazingly!, outstandingly! Thinking about him, he then’ll begin asking regarding the interests. (then he’s probably just a self-absorbed bastard, and you don’t want that if he doesn’t. You need to see through the initial barricade, perhaps maybe maybe not in to the dungeon. )